random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
