well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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