like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
