I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize