I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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