is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
