It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
God, I missed his penis.
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