Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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