We're facebook friends in real life
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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