Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm just crazy horny about you
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
