She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
