No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
false alarm. still invincible.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
