What a fucking waste of an outfit
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
