I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
