I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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