How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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