ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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