whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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