he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
