I got chris browned last night
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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