And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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