Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
