He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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