Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
