When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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