My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
