Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
