There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
