PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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