Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
