Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
