Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
