I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
