I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
