What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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