My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
