i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
