everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
True strength comes from lack of pants
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
