this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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