no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize