literally had 100 drinks last night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
