just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
