ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
