i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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