i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
