It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
