i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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