Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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