He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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