hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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