the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
