Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
