the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
