So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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