the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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