shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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