Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
